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oliviaxgrace's Blog


one more reason

wow. great I just doubted the only thing that means anything to me other thAn my baby and she's gone. fucking great . all I do is doubt now and I can't even hold it back enough for one person.and she's probably going to leave now. I'M SORRY ALY. one more way to show how I need to diee

bleach

well. I drank bleach. I'm in the hospital.they say its eating away my organs . I'm gone I guess . bye 

my day

staring at the sky . I lay on the cold hard ground. naked of my dignity. people above kick and scratch and hit. and yell. ... terrible things that will haunt me for ever. I'm helpless ,angry, scared. cold. I am feeling woozy and dizzy. everything is starting to slowly fade. I think to myself " is this it? is God going to give me what I want and let me die. I hope Peyton knows I love her. and so does aly." those were going to be my final thoughts. I don't have any  recollection after that. I remember waking up in the grass bruised and bloody. disappointed almost. I came home.. alone as always. and instantly checked my Facebook. mean messages everywhere. I didn't think anything of it. at this point in my life I'm null and void. I'm numb. I'm hopeless. I have no life left to transfer itself into my eyes or my smile. just a shallowness. I'm 85 pounds now. (and counting)  I hope to die of starvation. isn't death just a wonderful thing. death brings life . death brings happiness and no pain. I want my daughter to look into my eyes one day and see warmth and love.she will only see that in the afterlife. I hope she turns out strong just like her aunt alyshine. God bless her soul.I don't know how long this will take (for me to leave) but I hope when I leave everything will be better in the earth.

monster

jesus.. I'm letting go. I don't even know what I have become. I'm a monster . today I was beaten by everyone.I got so screwed up after that I almost shot a dog.  WHAT IS THIS THING THAT I SEE IN THE MIRROR!!?..why do I keep on .. why do I even care anymore.. No one else seems to. WHY THE FUCK AM I ALIVE !? God danmmit.. God said he wouldn't put us through something we can't handle . AND I CAN'T HANDLE THIS SHIT!

please

God. I just need someone who can be there for me .. Like at all times. right now I only have one person like that. thanks aly but what can I do to just get some help . just a little I mean I'm relapsing really bad right now . I'm 93 pounds and counting. I'm scared to the point of death. if anybody wants to support me please. message me 

please

God. I just need someone who can be there for me .. Like at all times. right now I only have one person like that. thanks aly but what can I do to just get some help . just a little I mean I'm relapsing really bad right now . I'm 93 pounds and counting. I'm scared to the point of death. if anybody wants to support me please. message me 

please

God. I just need someone who can be there for me .. Like at all times. right now I only have one person like that. thanks aly but what can I do to just get some help . just a little I mean I'm relapsing really bad right now . I'm 93 pounds and counting. I'm scared to the point of death. if anybody wants to support me please. message me 

nothingness

I hate myself, period. that's it . just me , myself , and loneliness creeping up on me and slowly killing me. death by myself is what it's going to be. I have a kid and I'm 12. I'm bullied. I'm beaten. I'm misunderstood. there's no point to this. this life.. I guess. if that's what you want to call it. I call it a priority that I wish I could get out of.

1-8 of 8 Blogs   

Previous Posts
one more reason, posted January 14th, 2013, 1 comment
bleach, posted January 13th, 2013, 3 comments
my day, posted January 7th, 2013
monster, posted January 7th, 2013
please, posted January 5th, 2013, 1 comment
please, posted January 5th, 2013
please, posted January 5th, 2013
nothingness, posted January 5th, 2013

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