my day | oliviaxgrace's Blog

staring at the sky . I lay on the cold hard ground. naked of my dignity. people above kick and scratch and hit. and yell. ... terrible things that will haunt me for ever. I'm helpless ,angry, scared. cold. I am feeling woozy and dizzy. everything is starting to slowly fade. I think to myself " is this it? is God going to give me what I want and let me die. I hope Peyton knows I love her. and so does aly." those were going to be my final thoughts. I don't have any  recollection after that. I remember waking up in the grass bruised and bloody. disappointed almost. I came home.. alone as always. and instantly checked my Facebook. mean messages everywhere. I didn't think anything of it. at this point in my life I'm null and void. I'm numb. I'm hopeless. I have no life left to transfer itself into my eyes or my smile. just a shallowness. I'm 85 pounds now. (and counting)  I hope to die of starvation. isn't death just a wonderful thing. death brings life . death brings happiness and no pain. I want my daughter to look into my eyes one day and see warmth and love.she will only see that in the afterlife. I hope she turns out strong just like her aunt alyshine. God bless her soul.I don't know how long this will take (for me to leave) but I hope when I leave everything will be better in the earth.

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